In the beginning God created the DP.
God saw the DP and said he was good.
The DP saw God and said: “Turn your head, I’d rather have it back-lit.”
God said:”But I am God!”
The DP said:”I don’t care who you are. Front-lighting is no good.”
And God turned his head.

It’s been a while that I posted crew jokes, so here comes a fresh batch:

Why was the dolly invented?
To teach grips how to walk upright.

Why don’t DP’s smoke?
Because it takes them 6 hours to light it.

How many DP’s does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they just hold up the bulb and the world revolves around them.

How many Sound Recordist’s does it take to change a light bulb?
One, as long as he doesn’t have to stand up.

How many Account Executives does it take to change a light bulb?
“What do you think?”

How many Art Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
“Does it have to be a light bulb?”

How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?
“I’m not changing a damn thing!”

How many Producers does it take to change a light bulb?
“A light bulb is not in the budget!”

How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
“Four; you got a problem with that?”

How can you tell when a producer is lying?
His lips move.

What does an AD use for birth control?
His personality.