How tall is a sound recordist?
-I don’t know either. I’ve never seen one standing up.

What do sound man’s children do for fun?
-Watch other children play.

How can you tell when a teamster is dead?
-The doughnut falls out of his mouth.

What was the last thing Jesus said to the Teamsters ?
-”Don’t do anything ’till I come back.”

What’s the difference between a producer and a coconut?
-You can get a drink out of a coconut.

How can you tell that a producer is lying?
-He opens his mouth.

What is the difference between a DP and God?
-God doesn’t think he’s a DP

How do you get the attention of four aspiring actors?
-”Waiter!”